


Sleepover

by PBJellie



Category: South Park
Genre: Break Up, Craig and Those Guys Week 2019, Divorce, Humor, M/M, Sleepovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 10:24:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20274379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PBJellie/pseuds/PBJellie
Summary: Written for Craig and Those Guys week, and never posted. Whoops.Sleepover.Craig crashes on Token's couch post break up.





	Sleepover

**Author's Note:**

> So I missed this week but I already had this done. I doubt I'm getting reblogged, so here it is.

"It'll be like a sleepover, dude!" Clyde was at Token's door with a case of Pabst (bleck) with a sleeping back slung over his back. Like he was a seven year old Cub Scout going on his first sleep away trip, not a thirty year old man on his way to comfort his recently dumped best friend.   
  
Not that the friend asked for comfort. Craig laughed bitterly as Clyde came in, without even asking.   
  
"I don't want a sleepover," Craig grumbled as Clyde dropped a backpack, that sleeping back, and a pillow with a Lego Movie pillowcase on the couch. The couch Craig was supposed to be sleeping on. He groaned and thought about going back to his shared apartment and demanding to stay. He was still on the lease and just because Tweek moved in his new boyfriend, that did not mean his husband's name magically vanished from the paperwork.   
  
Token warned him that beating this ever living snot out of the new twink would get him sent to jail, but a little piece of Craig thought it'd be worth it.   
  
"Sorry you got traded in for a newer model. That sort of stuff always stinks. Not that Bebe is trading me in, not anytime soon I guess. We're still super in love, just like high school." Clyde beamed as he spun his wedding ring, letting it catch under the fancy rich person lighting of Token's apartment.   
  
"Really making me feel wonderful," Craig said through gritted teeth.   
  
"Yeah bro, anything for you."   
  
"What Craig is meaning to say, is fuck off Clyde," Token snorted from the kitchen. "Did you get the wine I asked you to get?"   
  
"Darndest thing," Clyde chuckled, dropping the beer to his feet with a clang, "turns out 7/11 doesn't have any French reds from 1974. I looked and I asked the clerk but she just looked at my hot bod and shrugged. I can be distracting; that's why all the chicks flock to me."   
  
"Well, this has been awful, but I'm going to just get a hotel," Craig groaned. His suitcase sat packed on the coffee table so it's not like it'd take all that much energy to pick it up and just walk away. An Uber wouldn't take longer than ten minutes in downtown Denver. He'd be in a Best Western by ten, and he could just watch Ancient Aliens until he cried himself to sleep.   
  
Really the perfect night for a soon to be thirty year old divorcee.   
  
"Nothing to do with that shoe store," Token chuckled as he walked into the room, placing a reaffirming hand on Craig's shoulder, even though he certainly did not ask for that. He didn't need to be snapped out of his pity party, because it hadn't even started yet.   
  
"I mean, ladies do love some sweet kicks, but my rock hard physique ties it all together." Craig sat idly as Clyde posed, flexing his biceps, even though a thick roll of fat swung beneath a muscle that barely peaked through the top. He looked away with a sigh as his phone buzzed in his hand.   
  
_Sorry that your husband found a better piece of meat. There's other fish in the sea :)_  
  
"Who told Jimmy?" Craig asked as stared dumbfounded at the message. "What'd you do, make a Facebook post, Token?"   
  
"I just told the guys. I thought you could use some support."   
  
_Lots of dudes are into bears. ROAR_

Support, Craig scoffed. He wasn't a bear. He wasn't an anything. He was just a guy who'd married his childhood sweetheart. A guy who was now single.   
  
"You want a beer?" Clyde asked as Craig squeezed his phone in his fist. He wondered if he could smash it against Token's fancy bamboo floor. Was bamboo a soft wood? Craig almost regretted not listening to Token brag about it right after it was installed two years ago. "Earth to Spaceman Craig, any intelligent life?"  
  
"Give him a break," Token sighed, picking up a lukewarm beer, cracking the tab, and forcibly wrapped Craig's hands around it. He even went so far as to push the metal rim to Craig's teeth, clinking it against his teeth. Piss flavored water flowed into his mouth and he choked, sputtering out liquid onto Token's fancy suede coach.   
  
Serves him right.   
  
"Is that why Tweek went shopping for new boy? Have a coughing problem?" Clyde clasped him on the back, then collapsed onto the couch, funneling beer into his mouth like a fountain. "I helped Bebe get over it, I can help you, too."   
  
"Gross," Token groaned, taking his place on the other side of the couch. "Why don't we just watch a movie or something? I've got Godzilla."   
  
"Yes!" Clyde screamed, kicking his feet against the coffee table like a child. He was a child that was still married, what a crock. "It's gonna be so sweet with the stereo and the huge screen. I'm psyched! I'm psyched for this!"

"Yay," Craig droned, closing his eyes as the TV sprang to life. "Godzilla can ruin someone else's life and I can have some company."   
  
"Yeah! I hope he eats a some people! Like a whole bunch of people, no spoilers. I want to be surprised."   
  
"Can Godzilla kill me?" Craig grumbled as the lion roared on the screen. "Is your home theater that high tech?"   
  
"Okay, let's just watch the movie," Token said, patting Craig twice on the back.   
  
It was a shitty movie, and for some reason, there was loads of emotion and a definite under representation of engineered dinosaur creatures destroying cities. He was here for the demolition of a population epicenter, not to discuss feelings. If he wanted to talk about feelings, he would have stayed on the phone with his mom earlier today.  
  
"Wow, that was so cool!" Clyde shouted before the credits even started in earnest. "Super sweet! Did you see Godzilla? He was like _pow _and everyone was like oh no, but then they were like _argh_! Dude, that was such a good movie. I freaking loved that!"   
  
"Glad you liked it," Token said with a yawn. "Well, I've got work tomorrow, so I'm going to turn in. Goodnight guys, and the sun will rise in the morning, or whatever."   
  
"Not if Godzilla has anything to say about it," Craig muttered. "I bet he could just rip the sun right out of the sky."   
  
"I'd watch that movie," Clyde nodded enthusiastically as he grabbed another beer. He didn't even bother to put it in the fridge during the movie? Pabst was never good, but it was even worse in warm. "You think Mothera would be on team save the sun or team snuff the sun? Like moths like lights, but they also come out at night, like it's a real Sophie's Choice."   
  
Clyde was completely serious. Craig had just been dumped by his boyfriend of eighteen years and Clyde was pondering the great complexities of moths as he drank crappy beer. Things were exactly the same, even though they were completely different. Couldn't Clyde hear the aftershocks of Craig's world falling apart?  
  
"I think I'd pick fighting Godzilla, because then all the humans are gonna super like you and they'll always leave lamps out, because you're pretty much a God."   
  
"For sure," Craig sighed, taking another drink of the beer he'd held for two hours. It was as disgusting as it was before, if not more so. His hand warmed it more than the ambient air, and it was miserable. He took another drink, then chugged it.   
  
"There's my boy! Chug! Chug! Chug!" Clyde went wild, like he was back in the sweaty frat house Craig had refused to join. Tweek didn't think it was a good fit, so he skipped rush week. Craig opened another beer, and took a swig. "This is how you handle a break up, my man! When Bebe dumped me junior year, I got so drunk I couldn't stand. I missed like two days of classes, and it was exactly what I needed. I called her crying, and she took me back. Works like a charm."   
  
Craig grimaced, pulling the can away from his mouth. Did he want to cry Tweek, begging to crawl back into the bed he'd sullied with some aspiring actor? He set the beer on the coffee table, and shook his head. He didn't want to go back to avoiding things that Tweek didn't like, only for Tweek to sing musicals as loud as he could at ten at night. Craig didn't like that. He didn't need to know how many minutes were in a year, but he was certain that he'd never be able to forget. Nor would he ever be able to erase the cracked high note from his memory.   
  
"I'll pass," Craig said, pushing the can further away with his toe. "Sometimes shit just doesn't work out. It sucks."   
  
"Yeah dude, it does," Clyde said, wrapping his arm around Craig's shoulders. "I bet Token has rich people ice cream, Haagen-Dazs or Ben and Jerry's. We should eat it right out of the carton. I mean, get a spoon but like not bowls. Break-ups don't need bowls."   
  
"Break-ups don't need bowls," Craig chuckled. 


End file.
